Reblabble Town

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ant-slime
p4nsy

Bro I fucking love the DB Cooper case nothing about this whole situation sounds real. None of the passengers on the plane realized they were being hijacked until the plane landed two hours after it was supposed to and the fbi showed up with suitcases full of money. The note about the bomb almost went unnoticed because the flight attendant thought she was being sexually harassed so she didn't read it. One of the main suspects was the first trans woman in Washington to have a sex change operation. A reporter who was so dead set on his suspect that he brought him to court was so upset about being wrong that he went catatonic and was treated with electroshock therapy and it WORKED. There's been multiple "I'm DB Cooper" death confessions. He never even SAID his name was DB Cooper. Either he got away with a million bucks in today's money and the most iconic and harmless crime American history or he impaled himself on a pine tree while falling a zillion miles an hour in the dark while clutching duffel bags full of cash and either option is equally hilarious. He wore a clip on tie. He committed an act of sky piracy. What in the fucking looney toons

thetrashiestoftrash
teaboot

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless

sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel
sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel

Thinking about how post-war there has to have been someone at Jake's school who never knew about the Yeerks or the Animorphs until the very end of the war, and after the war is over no one believes them when they say they went to *that* highschool with *the* Animorphs, and Marco still owes them five dollars

thejakeformerlyknownasprince

I would 100% read a story about that person.  Their high school experience must have been so weird for so many then-inexplicable reasons.

mossadspydolphin

Would it? I got the impression that things were passing for perfectly normal until the invasion went public. Just a regular high school experience until the aliens show up.

sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel

The town had random high profile animal attacks at many different places all involving exotic animals, there was a random ghost voice on an offshore island screaming for help, a billionaire's mansion burned down mysteriously, everyone was joining a cult, and sometimes there were an unusually high number of birds of prey flying around. Also, I heard at one point there was a tiger running around on people's rooftops.

It was not normal. They just barely kept things hidden.

thaylepo

don't forget the sentient screaming tornado that would appear instantly and at random for about a week that one summer

Or that time a macdonald's in the literal centre of town vanished into thin air in the middle of the night, along with most of the ground it was sitting on

Or the time a gorilla kidnapped a kid in the mall wearing a president bill clinton mask. (The kid was wearing the mask, not the gorilla)

This town has one of the best selling and most read tabloid papers in existence

thejakeformerlyknownasprince

Not to mention Tobias, David, Cassie, and Marco all disappearing into thin air.  At least the manhunt for Cassie eventually got her back; the others were never seen again.

Or that time the science teacher started screaming about an alien in his brain, only to be dragged into a van and, you guessed it, never seen again.

Or all the kids who swear they saw an extra pair of eyes sprout out of that Philip guy’s head in the middle of a school dance.

Or the other school dance where the ghost of a dead student showed up and then disappeared in the middle of the athletic field.

m-to-the-6th-power

Who was a dead student that showed up?

sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel

Tobias! From the perspective of the school, he fell off the face of the earth in book 1 and suddenly reappeared in book 13 and then only shows up to school dances after that.

cannoli-reader

I don’t think anyone seriously thought he was dead.  It might be the sort of rumor kids that age start up, but his disappearance was basically attributed to his well-established pattern of moving across the country whenever his custodial relative of the moment randomly got sick of having him around.  For example, when Elfangor’s will turns up, Chapman/Iniss doesn’t just say “Huh. That’s the kid who died,” but goes asking around if anyone knows where Tobias went. The adults they encounter seem to think he’s living on the streets, and kids being kids, they’re much more likely to spin that into an exaggerated story of his troubles or adventures.  Reinforced by his occasional appearances at dances, in the company of that really hot girl from school who can be scary when she turns down a date. 

Tobias isn’t a ghost story to the regular kids of Animorphtown, he’s a legend. 

sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel

This is an excellent addition! Adding that to my notes.

captain-paperclip
mmmmmistilllikepotatosalad

OMFG.

all-aboard-the-bane-train

Very curious doggo

castle-engineer

Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.

willow-wanderings

TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD

dykelliewilliams

Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and

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